Visiting Day
Isabella would be at camp for nearly four weeks when visiting day finally arrived. I had prepared for this day practically from the day that she had left for camp. I marked it in my calendar (paper for me). I started a pile of items to bring to her at camp. I pleaded with Victoria’s conservatory to allow her to leave for the weekend, so she could join use on the visit (The answer was no, unfortunately.) I informed Zachary that he would need to awaken before noon the morning of the visit. I had evidently done everything except read […]
Sisters
Recently, we dropped off Victoria — Isabella’s big sister — at the Broadway Conservatory for a 2-week program. That means that she will not be able to accompany us to the one and only visiting day at Isabella’s 7-week camp. We haven’t mentioned this to Isabella. She will be expecting Victoria. Whenever Victoria was away for a school trip — for as little as one night — Isabella is not right. The two share a room, which Victoria complains about on occasion. Like any other little sister, Isabella will go through Victoria’s stuff. The way I see, Victoria leaves her […]
Separate Birthday for Twins
For the first time in 16 years (if you count their birth), Isabella and Zachary were not together to celebrate their mutual birthday. Isabella celebrated her 15th birthday at camp, while Zachary celebrated (just barely) at home. I offered to bring him and a few friends to Rockaway Beach or Coney Island. He said thanks, but no thanks. At the end of the day, we asked him with he wanted — a cake. OMG. I didn’t have a cake. The morning were getting ready for Isabella’s camp, I thought about her birthday, which was three weeks in the future. My […]
Sleep-away camp
It was a very big deal for us (as parents) to make the decision to send Isabella to sleep-away camp. Last summer, she went for two weeks with a girlfriend from school (read: built-in safety net — that’s good for the child, but mostly the parents).When we went to pick her up to come home to attend a family function, she asked to go back for another two weeks. We obliged. This summer we wanted a camp with more academics. We found one, but the only option was 7 weeks. Yikes! Isabella’s response: “Seven weeks is a long time.” Yes, […]
Graduation — a milestone
Isabella’s first request for her graduation from the Banyan School was Aunt Joan and Uncle Donald’s attendance. Since her grandparents are no longer with us, Isabella (and the rest of the family) has looked to my father’s brother and his wife as our wise elders. It’s a reminder of the importance of the generational connection. I was lucky enough to have four grandparents until I was 16. My paternal grandfather passed away only seven years before his son, my father. He was a vital force in the lives of all 12 of his grandchildren. The graduation went off without a […]
Learning through fear (the parents)
Today marks the fourth time that Isabella has gone off on her own unexpectedly. The first was probably the most serious. She was just four years old and had just learned to use the bathroom. She was with my sister at a street fair. Yes, a street fair — every parent’s nightmare locus for a missing child, perhaps only second to a mall. (Isabella became lost there once several years back while on my watch.) At the street fair, she was looking for a bathrrom. After jumping up onto vendors’ tables and screaming her name, I found Isabella crying in a one of those […]
Normalcy
In December we had a PICC line put into Isabella’s left arm. Such lines are meant to be convenient to deliver medication or nutrients. People who have cancer may have PICC lines or ports. Children and women who have veins that are difficult to access have these delivery systems put in. The surgery is minor, but the upkeep can be nerve-racking. The site must stay cleaned and the line must be flushed regularly. Showering is tricky and swimming is forbidden. Though convenient for drug delivery, PICC lines are not a breeze. Immediately after the line was inserted, I expected to […]
Hospital stays
Hospital stays are not fun, mostly because of the look on the parents’ faces. Of course, the children don’t look their best, but we expect that. The parents are so spent, eating pastries from the cart and sandwiches that foodservice brings around. Sleeping on those fold-out chairs is not restful…neither is the beeping that is happening as your child’s beside. Fortunately, Isabella has only been in the hospital for an emergency once and that was a long time ago (though I can recall every detail quite clearly). More recently, I accompanied Isabella to overnights for EEGs. The electrodes pasted to […]
It is what it is
I read something very interesting in Psychology Today (it’s like being in Psych 101 again). It was an article about genetic testing — a topic that interests me for several reasons. I learned something unexpected from the article (always a good thing for a jaded person such as myself). Here’s the sentence that got me: “An uncertain future leaves us stranded in an unhappy present with nothing to do but wait.” That’s what a lot parents who have children with special needs do. Wait. Wait to see what the neurologist says (I can assure you that he or she has no […]
The other siblings
Of course, a book with the title Twin appeals to me as a mother of twins. This book is especially pertinent to me. It’s authored by the twin of a disabled (I do not like that term) twin. Um. What does he have to say? The author is Alan Shawn who happens to be the son of the former editor of The New Yorker. Okay, that probably means that the book is well-written. The book starts by Shawn revealing that his phobias (which are many) are due mostly to the fact that his sister was shipped off to a residential […]
Following the path
Because we have teenagers and because we live in metropolitan NY, our children have friends of all races, religions, and ethnicities. As a family, we have attended several bar and bat mitzvahs over the past years. The functions following the ceremonies have ranged from somewhat basic (none were at home parties, however) to affairs to remember (more like weddings). What had the most impact for me was not the high-end table service and wonderful food at one event in particular. It was the bat mitzvahs of two girls from Isabella’s class that really got me. Okay, have you ever been […]