Maybe we did a good job

April 5, 2011
Growing Up, The future
1 min read

When you have a child who is not developing at the same rate as her peers, you worry about the future. Really, you worry about all of your children. I see many of my friends’ grown children living at home. Some have graduated from college and have gainful employment, even careers. Others are, well, lost. We really can’t predict who will get out of the house and who won’t — for our neurotypical kids. For our “different” kids, we definitely know. And as they age, we know for sure. So we worry. We consult with attorneys. We look into state programs (and become horrified). We come up with a plan…or at least think about a plan.

While out for brunch on a Sunday with our two girls, Isabella asked Victoria about college and moving away. I commented that Isabella would miss her. This happens now when Victoria sleeps at friends homes or goes away for weekends. Isabella is not quite right. Victoria dismissed my comment by pointing out that college was only for 4 years. And after college (or I was thinking, when we’re dead)? Victoria replied, “Isabella will live with me.” I was at a loss. We had never, ever discussed Isabella’s future with our other children. Victoria cooly replied, “I decided that when I was 9,” and took another bite of her eggs Benedict.

One thought on “Maybe we did a good job”

  1. Thank you for your blogs! You have me in tears. I was trying to find a real campus school with online options for a degree in nutrition – ultimate goal being vegan nutrition/special needs. I’m turning up blank. But I’m glad to have found you and I’ll be following your blogs. I am VERY interested.
    My husband and I have 4 children. Our 7 year old has angelman syndrome with ataxia, seizures, etc. Her siblings consider her future too.
    From Toms River, NJ – Talk to you soon. Sue G

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